I am a 5 month old nurse.
I switch to night shift (7pm-330am / 7pm-730am) on January 17th, and my internship ends January 30th. I can’t believe how much I have learned, how much more comfortable I am, and as always how much more I have to learn!
I’ve been working the trauma / critical rooms for a couple months now. I’ve worked with some of the sickest patients I’ve ever seen, I’ve had my first couple patient deaths, and I finally feel like I’m making a difference in peoples lives. I am proud of what I have accomplished and at the same time tired. The ED is an intense place to work, both physically and mentally. It’s hard to witness the pain and suffering, to watch people’s lives being changed, to be at the bedside as a person dies. It’s hard to be aware and reminded every day of how fragile life is. At the same time these reminders make the little moments even sweeter: the small things I’m able to do to make a person feel more comfortable and cared for. As difficult as it was to be with my dying patient, I felt good because I was able to make his last moments more comfortable and be with his wife of 50+ years as she talked about their life together. It’s startling to realize what I profound impact I can have not only on a person’s day, but on their life. I’m the one with them in their most intimate moments, in the moments or hours when their reality changes. I witness devastating injury, illness, and death on an almost daily basis, and I can call it just another day at work. I have to leave the room after we declare a patient dead and withdraw support and go on to my next patient as though nothing happened. It’s a hard job! I love it, and I’m so grateful to be an intern at my hospital. But some days I just want a break. So I guess that’s a goal for 2012- learn how to take care of myself, learn how to manage the stress of emergency nursing. I’m sure that will be a lifelong goal.
So here’s to 2012! 2011 has been a big year for me; lots of milestones and great experiences. I graduated nursing school, got my RN, got a job, left San Francisco, moved to Portland, fell in love… (not all necessarily in that order either). I have a feeling 2012 is going to be even better.
xo
